Calgary's "They"

Analysis of Calgary's paranormal Twilight Denizens

Analytical Approach

As posted in the main Analysis section, speculation is absolutely appropriate and tentatively supported in-text citations is encouraged. For a concrete observation or connection to be made, however, and included as part of the official Keys mythos/canon, it needs extensive textual support.

Analytical Approach

On the Nature of "Them"

Taken from, credited to users HowardLoreid, Qirate, and Goet

HowardLoreid, Site Admin
Post subject: About Them
Posted: Thu Jul 28, 2011 4:49 pm

Anonymous 03/19/09(Thu)16:44 No.1556148
post. 1555974

I got emailed this when I asked the same question in an IRC channel:

Who are They?
There are four main theories to who They are that crop up whenever the threads turn to theory crafting, but what we can agree on is that They are a vaguely defined enemy that the acolytes, seekers and other "good guys" oppose or hide from or something.

The main theories are that they're our reflections, they're refugees of some kind from a dimension where the Nazis won World War Two, They're seekers or acolytes who have gone bad, or they're residents of other-place versions of Calgary landmarks like Mackimmie Library or the old General Hospital. Although we can't be sure, there has been some discussion that Eddie Decae (Which has to be a fake name, I mean, Eddie Decay?) may be one of them.

They inhabit several (possibly all) of the coloured rooms (The Orange Room, The Black Room). They can be recognized by the smell of allspice (numerous).

Anonymous 03/19/09(Thu)16:45 No.1556151
post. 1556148

What do They do?

Other than hoard mysterious artifacts (The Index Cards, The Baggage Claim, The Other Mall), They're involved in implanting or removing things from people's bodies (The Public Washroom). They are also possibly involved in a variety of other activities.

Telling They apart from people who are referred to as "they" is difficult in some cases, because CalgAnon capitalises the word when it's appropriate as well as when it refers to Them. They stow their victims in a 7-11 in Ogden, which may be related to a magic payphone in the same building (The Public Washroom, The Payphone Trick). It's likely that they're involved with human sacrifice and that they bathe in magical water in a place called The Black Room to wash away their sins (The Black Room). They read the future in entrails and are involved in some kind of war (The DVD). Troublingly, it's entirely possible that they are in fact the ones on the right side (The Abattoir). Their works are often strange and mysterious, including an inexplicable rain of purple stones that makes an elevator shaft impassible (The Purple Stones). They quite probably mutilate and torture people and may take pleasure from it (The Television Channel). With all this in mind, it's possible that They maintain the mental hospital that Calgary is implied to be (The Green Room). They also have some kind of superweapon contained inside an old cedar chest built by Eddie Decae (The Hope Chest)

Anonymous 03/19/09(Thu)16:45 No.1556157
post. 1556151

What is their place in the secret history?

They're described by Eddie Decae as post-war immigrants who arrived during the heydey of Art Deco (The Hope Chest). Other than that, until we know who They are, we can't be sure.


They are also known to be "sex and violence" or something, its from the one with the postcard, I'll find the page when I get home to fix the quote and site it.


"They stow their victims in a 7-11 in Ogden, which may be related to a magic payphone in the same building (The Public Washroom, The Payphone Trick)".

This is really tricky. The Payphone Trick does state there's a convenience store in Ogden, but the washroom mentioned isn't said to be a public washroom - it's through the back door of the convenience store, just beside a small room made of bare concrete. The Public Washroom claims that the washroom is a) new and b) was featured on CBC, but #98 The Payphone Trick indicates it's "disused" and "they haven't cut the bodies down since 1995", which seems to indicate the washroom in The Payphone Trick is older - unless some months/years have elapsed between the writing of #68 The Public Washroom and #98 The Payphone Trick. The stickler is that the two entries are tied by more than just the word "Washroom" - #68 The Public Washroom has "Ogden" written beneath the newspaper article about Jess's disappearance. We can infer that the Public Washroom's ability is to teleport you from the Public Washroom to another Washroom (the author of the first note did, after all) - did Jess get teleported from the Public Washroom to the one in Ogden? It doesn't make sense for the author to have scrawled "Ogden" (the location of the store) on the piece of paper if he was already aware of where the Public Washroom was (the author of the first note indicates that they know where it is, and the second mentions that Sandy himself told someone to go there).

But still, the fact that it's a Public Washroom in one but a store Washroom in the other suggests they're different facilities.

Also, I can't find any mention of They being involved in storing bodies in the Store Washroom - there are bodies in the washroom, true, but the "they" is uncapitalised here (as it should be, grammatically speaking). They are said to be involved in using the Public Washroom, though. Perhaps the people that die during the organ removal procedure in The Public Washroom are sent to the Store Washroom, whereas the ones that survive are taken to Riley Park, if not elsewhere?

Qirate: They are also known to be "sex and violence" or something, its from the one with the postcard, I'll find the page when I get home to fix the quote and site it.

(No offense meant, just doing this for completeness' sake):

The Postcards: "When he’s not talking about killing, Gregg gets pretty spicy. Sex and Death… that’s basically what They’re all about, isn’t it?"

You could also say Sex and Death are the parameters for life, in that life starts with one and ends with the other. The magical order "The Illuminates of Thanateros" take their name from that very idea.

End of Quoted Section

Continued Analysis

From the Wiki's Forum

Reference is made quite frequently to religious mythos in direct relation to the Keys. In 046-The Soup Kitchen, the Phenomena itself involves the tears of a tortured, captive angel. In 043-The Butcher's Shop, part of the Phenomena requires conversing with an individual who "used to be one of Them." Four greasy pies later, the acolyte is led to a specific house in which is housed the "ark they rode to get here." We're left with an unexpected allusion to the Mesopotamian/Early Biblical narrative regarding the Ark and the flood of the Lord (or other various deities). What significance does this "ark" have? How was it ridden, and from where? The word "ark" is not used widely in any other sense than to mean the Ark of fable- thus the use of the word as if it were one of multiple is unsettling to say the least.

One widely regarded theory among UFOlogists is that the entirety of the creation story according to the Torah was in fact an ancient, anecdotal encounter with extraterrestrials. Certainly this is a valid interpretation; the Hebrew Lord would necessarily be considered an "extraterrestrial," as a being not of this earth. As such Noah's "Ark" could, in fact, be an account of a vessel of extraterrestrial origin. Does this mean They could be extraterrestrials?

Detailed copyright information is located at
Some rights reserved.