In the southwest of the city, if you keep your eyes open, you can sometimes spot a broken down school bus in an alley between two houses. Strangely, the name of the school or company on the side of the bus is written in a strange script that looks like Arabic but isn’t. The bus’s windows are covered with blankets that have been hung up inside like curtains. The doors will be locked, and anyways, entering without asking is frowned upon. Knock on the door and wait for it to be opened. If it isn’t, then you’re not welcome, and you should never return to the alley.
If it does open, however, and you’ve been keeping your diet haram like a good boy, go inside. There, you will encounter a woman of middle eastern descent. She will be nude, other than a veil, and her voice will be so soft that you cannot hear it. A handful of neighbourhood children will be seated at the back of the bus, playing with jacks or poke’mon cards. She will gesture towards them, as if she sees you as just another one of the neighbourhood kids. Relatively speaking, in terms of age, that’s probably all you are. Shake your head though without speaking and instead gesture towards the makeshift bed she’s made in the aisle. She’ll shoo the children away.There, on the bed, you will experience unimaginable burning pleasure, and every word you utter in the throes of lust will come true, good or bad. However, if you turn out to be a bad boy and kiss and tell, impotence will be your only reward.