If you steal cable in Cranston, a planned community in the southeast, you will find that rather than being blank and vacant, channel one is given over to a foreign and unfamiliar test card and mumbled voices in a language that sounds Slavic but is utterly unrecognizable. In order to discover more, you must possess an old PAL television. Adjust the balances of colour and contrast on your set, both at the same time, and wait for the test card to fade. Once you strike the right balance, the test card will be replaced by the image of a man sitting behind a desk. Though he and his companion will seem to be aware that you are watching them, They will never address you directly.
Never watch this channel anywhere secure or safe, as it offers another avenue of entry. Watch the channel until the scene cuts away from the two men and into a series of grotesque clips no longer than three seconds in length. These are not all original. Records kept by Eddie Decae indicate that at least sixty of the hundred and forty three clips are sampled from various films and snuff tapes. The surreal and visceral imagery will burn itself into your brain indelibly, but you will find in the morning that with it has come a master’s knowledge of the fine art of mutilation and torture.
This must be used sparingly, for the knowledge has brought with it a great pleasure at its exercise. You will, however, always be able to recognize Their handiwork, even if you will find yourself admiring it.