Take the C-train to the furthest north station in the free fare zone. Across the street from the station, you’ll see an office building. Walk in and head up the stairs on the right to the mezzanine. There’s a door on the balcony that goes to a women’s washroom, but it’s locked. The washroom is part of the lease of the business which rents the right side of the mezzanine, and they access it with the code 9620. Don’t enter this code into the metal lock.
Instead, punch in 4511. Instead of opening onto a washroom, the door will open onto a small closet with no furnishings other than a cheap office chair, a folding card table, and a terminal from the late seventies. The terminal’s screen will be blank other than the phrase “What is your name?” Type your real name or, if you’re feeling adventurous, your online nickname. There will be a lot of lag between the terminal and wherever it’s connected to, but soon more words will appear, all of them questions. Answer them.When the terminal’s owner is satisfied, it will turn itself off. For the rest of your life, every piece of electronic equipment you try to use will just work out o the box with no difficulty, but you’ll feel nauseous if you get too far from a wireless signal.